so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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