Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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