I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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