We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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