would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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