That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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