I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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