Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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