you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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