I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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