I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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