he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
is wine microwaveable?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize