Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
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