she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
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his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My liver just had a heart attack.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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