I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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