so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
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seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
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Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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