You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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