I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize