:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize