I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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