Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Panties = found
Randomize