who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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