I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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