I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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