so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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