You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I think I am morally bankrupt
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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