i already hear my dad disowning me
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
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when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
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I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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