In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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