I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I cut my penus on the lid.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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