I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Can Purell be used as lube?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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