When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize