just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
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You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
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I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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