cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize