ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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