Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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