um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
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the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
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Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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