I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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