he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
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The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
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Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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