You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Randomize