well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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