A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize