i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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