I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
someone get that fucking seahorse.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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