I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize