ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
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i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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