one two three fourrrrnication!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize