If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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