thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize