i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize