so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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